It was our senior year in high school, and you were on the basketball team. There was ten seconds left on the clock and you guys were up by three points. While you were the main event of those ten seconds, I was dealing with something else entirely. My boyfriend at the time Mike was upset with me, because of something I told him. We were arguing for a few seconds until I realized we were getting nowhere and told him that it was over.
I felt it was best that I leave and wait for you to get home and tell you what happened after the game. That way you wouldn’t be too upset about it. But Mike didn’t agree with me. He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back towards him. A few people around us stopped cheering to look at us. I forced myself loose from his grasp and walked away again. Mike turned me back around and I saw his hand raised above his head and he brought it down whipping it across my face. I laid my palm on my cheek trying to stop the vibration of pain he left behind.
I looked at Mike as he stared at me with a straight face. But before he can get a word out a small round ball came speeding across his face. I quickly looked towards my right and saw you climbing the bleachers with rage in your eyes, I watched in fear as you attacked Mike landing one blow after another. Poor boy tried his best to stop you from hitting him. But you were able to strike him multiple times causing his nose to bleed. The teachers, coaches, and even the Referees got in the middle of you two.
Truth be told, I feared you that day. You were like a different person. But I knew if I said something at that moment you would stop. So, when one of the teachers managed to pull you back far enough, I got in front of Mike. You broke free and came charging at him again until you saw me. You stopped and the sadness…no the disappointment you saw on my face, brought the boy I knew back. While everyone was separating you, we never broke eye contact. Even when the crowd started to boo at what transpired. I walked away and kept my head down not wanting to attract any more attention.
People threw things and insulted me as I made my way out of the gym. Once I got out of I started to cry, wondering what I have done and how could I be so stupid. I looked back at the gym hoping you would come running out. But no one came. Not you, and defiantly not Mike.
The fight got you suspended from school for two weeks, and you were suspended for one game. Which meant you weren’t playing in the State Championship. The team lost, and everybody blamed me for it. Even though I wasn’t playing, I knew that fight you had with Mike was my fault. I should’ve waited to tell him after the game. Maybe he still would’ve hit me. Maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, it goes, I knew for sure that it would’ve kept you out of trouble.
But you didn’t care about any of that. When Prom came around no one asked me to go, I figured that I was the one girl every guy wanted to avoid. So, I stayed home and watched T.V. in my Pajamas while I ate Ice cream. My parents were a little upset that I didn’t go. Maybe my mom more than my dad. I remember that year she couldn’t wait to take so many pictures of me in my prom dress, that my dad paid for.
Now, my dad was quite a different story. He was more upset that someone put their hands on his little girl. But he was grateful to you for what you did. You showed him that you cherished our friendship more than just popularity or a game. However, he was kind of upset with you at first, when he learned that you didn’t ask me to Prom. But I told him that I lied and told you that I already had a date. So, he let it go. But then you showed up at my door with a black Tux and a corsage in your hand.
You told me and my parents that you spent the previous weekend making a prom just for us at the neighborhood park. And that you paid some kids five dollars each just to watch it, so no one could ruin it. My mom was so excited that she rushed me upstairs to help me put on my prom dress and my dad scrambled to find the camera. After I got dress, and my dad finding the camera, they took tons of pictures of us and sent us on our way to the park. I still think the best one was when you struggled to put the corsage on my wrist. I mean seriously how hard can that be. Once we left to go to our little “prom” I turned around to see my mother crying and my dad waving goodbye. I turned to look at you and was wondering how much effort that you put into it all.
Once we reached the park I was mesmerized by what I saw that night. You decorated the picnic area with lights and a cheap crystal ball. With a little nine-year-old being our DJ for the night. We danced the night away to all my favorite songs and I laid my head on your chest while tears came down my face. That night was the best night I ever had with you. And I couldn’t wait to see what the future was going to bring us.
During my Sophomore year in college not much changed about me. I was still the bookworm student you always knew. As well as your babysitter, because God knows how many times I had to make sure you got to class on time. Even when I went into your dorm room and pulled you by the ear.
But that was also the year I met Gary. A strong, funny, and out of this world guy. We immediately hit it off and started dating a few months later. You weren’t too thrilled about it, even voiced your opinion on it. But I was able to convince you that I was happy, and you left it alone. I guess you still wasn’t over the whole thing with Mike and wanted me to be more cautious when it came to love. But I did…at least I thought I did.
For that entire year, we were dating. I really loosened up around that time. I was going out to spots that you wouldn’t see me at. I was drinking a lot, and I mean a lot. Hell, I even went to class drunk and Gary taught me how to get through it. We made out at times when we should be studying. Stayed up all night and binged watched a few Netflix shows. Even watched infomercials just to talk trash about the products they were selling. It was never a dull moment with him. I felt that he was the one for me, the one that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I loved him, and he loved me.
The day came when he told me he wanted to talk about something important. I met up with him at the park that night and sat down next to him. I knew by the look on his face that something was wrong and realized that he needed to get something off his chest. I held his hand and told him to talk to me.
He told me he’s been keeping something from me the whole time we were dating, and he couldn’t keep it from me any longer. I reminded him how much I loved him and told him we could work through this. He looked at me with tears coming down his face. I wiped them away and got a smile in return. He took a deep breath and told me with a straight face, that he was gay.
He told me that he was only with me to throw his parents off because he believed they were on to him. So, he figured that by dating me, it would throw them off. He never wanted to hurt me, but he knew he couldn’t keep lying to me. At first, I was upset that he used me to keep up a lie. But I knew I needed to help him, even though he’s been lying to me throughout our whole relationship. It was the right thing to do, so, I called you the next morning and told you everything.
Truth be told, I was expecting you to laugh hysterical and tell me “I told you so.” But you told me something completely different. You told me you want to meet Gary face to face. And so, I arranged the meeting between you two at a local park. Gary loved going there during the weekends, said that it helped clear his mind. Probably why he chose the park to confess his sexuality to me. So, I figured that putting him in that setting again will help the situation. But truth be told he wasn’t too happy that I told you about it. Said he wanted to handle things himself. But I assured him that I felt it in my heart, that I was doing the right thing here. And begged him to try it out. He agreed and you two met that day.
That day at the park, you approached Gary and looked at him for a few seconds. Then you looked at me and told me to walk away while you two talked things over. I did what was asked of me and sat on the bench not too far from you guys. Honestly, I couldn’t hear anything that you two was talking about. But I remember Gary crying and you grabbing his shoulder. A few minutes went by and you came towards me and told me that we were going to go see his parents. I don’t know what you said to Gary, but I didn’t like the idea of telling his parents just yet.
We went anyway, and Gary confessed everything to his parents. They were upset as predicted. But for the reason, he didn’t tell them sooner. His father felt like he failed him, but you assured him that he didn’t. You told them they did nothing wrong, and that they just needed to have faith in their son to make the right decision. They thanked you for being a good friend to him. And I thanked you as well, even though we both knew you weren’t anywhere near his friend. But you helped him because you wanted to help me. And for that I’m grateful.
If there was ever a bad example of being with the wrong person, it would defiantly be him. I met him a few months after I “broke up” with Gary. He was another interesting person. But he was calmer than Gary, always in those books like I was. But he also liked Jazz and classic films. What he didn’t like was you. When he first met you, he told me that there was something about you he didn’t like. I defended you and told him that he just needed to warm up to you. So, he said he’ll make it work if it made me happy and it did.
We went on a few dates through the remainder of my sophomore year and into my junior year. The more I was around him, the more I fell for him. But the more I fell for him, the more I fell out of touch with you. I would see your text messages and missed calls. But I never responded to them. I would always fear that you would do something stupid to ruin my relationship. But you were nowhere to be found. I never thought to contact you, not once. Not even to see if you were still alive.
But I kept going, I kept being happy. I figured that you wanted me to keep going. Even if that meant I had to leave you behind, you would be okay. Charles never paid any mind to your absence. He just kept going forward and was bringing me along for the ride.
The longer we kept dating the more serious we became. I met his family, his friends. And he met my family, but no friends. Because the only one I truly had was you. And I wanted you to be there for my happiness and you weren’t there. So, I kept going until you showed up.
A year into dating Charles, I got a phone call from you. I was so happy when I saw your name on that caller ID and quickly answered the phone. There was so much to talk about. Like where you’ve been, what have you been up too, and I also told you that I was engaged. You were quiet for a second until I got your attention again. And you told me that you were happy for me. I wanted to see you in person so many times. But me going to school and planning the wedding was still ongoing. I mean can you picture a twenty-year-old me planning her wedding and still going to school. Of course, you can, because you were there with me every step of the way.
Every time I was becoming overwhelmed with everything. You will tell me to calm down and let you handle a few things along the way. I told you about the spot where I wanted to have the wedding. You got the spot for me. I told you where I wanted the reception, you also got that done for me. And you got the cake made exactly how I wanted it to be made. You gave me the perfect wedding, just like you gave me the perfect prom. And I couldn’t thank you enough. But like all things, having you back in my life was just too good to be true.
You never showed up to my wedding. Even when I called you, you changed your number and I was pissed off at you. You did all those things for me, and a gave me the perfect wedding. Then you just disappeared on me. It took everything I had to fight back tears and not let you ruin this moment for me. I hated you from that day forward, and I removed your name from my phone. As well as all the pictures we took together, even the one we took on our prom night. I wanted to erase every memory of you and hoped I never saw you again. My parents walked in and saw that I was upset, but I quickly told them it was tears of joy. I never told them what you did, because I wanted them to keep that perfect image of you intact. It would’ve probably killed my dad if I told him what you’ve done.
Years will go by since the wedding, and I was miserable. Charles just simply stopped spending time with me. Always working or on his phone working. He would never listen when I try to talk to him. And nothing I did was never important unless it was relevant to him. In which it wasn’t. He was like a different person that I didn’t know. A stranger in my home and yet all I can think about was where were you in all of this. Again, life had a way of telling me.
It was my birthday and a package came in from me. I didn’t know who it was from, but I opened it hoping it wasn’t something dangerous. I pulled out an emerald cold-shoulder blouse. And I knew at that moment it was from you. Only a few people knew that was my favorite color, and Charles wasn’t one of them. I ran to my room and quickly tried it on to see how it looked on me. Once I put the shirt on, I noticed how it fitted me perfectly. Charles always brought me clothes, that were too small, or too big. But you always found the exact size for me. The one that would fit me perfectly. That was the one thing I loved about you. You noticed everything about me, my smile, my tears, and my love for books. Where Charles didn’t care too much for that anymore. I guess he saw me as a trophy and only took me out when he wanted to show me around to his colleagues.
But I shit you not, while I was examining myself in the mirror. You appeared behind me. With your arms wrapped around my waist and your chin resting gently on my shoulder. You smiled, not saying a word to me. I leaned my head back into your chest hoping to hear your heartbeat again. But my head fell back, and I quickly came to and noticed that you were gone. I realized that it was just a fantasy that I conjured up in my head and nothing more. I took the blouse off and put it on the bed and looked at it for a second. I kept thinking about you, and I wanted you back in my life so much. That I would leave Charles if that what it took. Speaking of which.
I heard Charles shout my name so loud, that I think the people at Mountain Everest heard him. I quickly rushed down the stairs to see what the emergency was. I saw Charles holding a card in his hand. With anger in his eyes, he asked me how you got ahold of our address. Even though that was a good question. I told him, that I ran into you at the store and we re-connected. I would’ve added in some more bullshit, but he wouldn’t care about that. He started yelling at me, asking was I having an affair. I told him I wasn’t, and I asked him what the big deal was. He wouldn’t answer me and told me that he was leaving and whatever was in the box throw it away and to tell you to never call or send anything to our house again. I ran upstairs with tears in my eyes, not understanding what his problem was. But I couldn’t throw away your gift. It was the only thing I had left of you and I really wanted you back in my life. So, I went through my clothes and took out a shirt that I didn’t like and put in the box. I looked at the card and saw what you wrote. I teared up again and threw the card in the box and put it in the trash. Charles came back satisfied with what I did. I, however, was tired of being miserable.
So, a few months later I told him I want a divorce, he wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t care. We separated for a few months because I couldn’t stand being in that house with him a second longer. A year later we got divorced, He took everything, but let me have my clothes and other personal items and I moved back in with my parents. Years will go by and I would go on social media and noticed a picture of someone that looked very familiar. I clicked on the picture saw it was you and sent out a friend request. Two weeks later you replied and asked you to meet me here at this restaurant. And here we are, now it’s your turn.