Well, this is the last one. Why? Well, I thought this could be a topic that I can spend a year on. But realized that I can tell it all in a matter of a few weeks. I got so bummed about it, that I lost complete interest in it and decided to not write about it anymore. But after my lost topic about finding my voice. I thought I used this day to tell this one.
What is it? Well, it’s simple, it’s nothing…nothing at all. I don’t have much to talk about when it comes to my voice. Instead, there’s something I wanted to talk about, more like needed to talk about. I just didn’t know how to approach the topic…no…. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about what was going on in my life. It was something I once said on Facebook and only a few people responded.
I no longer have the energy to fight this thing anymore. The pain is far too great, and I thought going away for a while from my friends would help me get better. I told them that it did, but I lied about it. The pain was only getting worse and “it” happened on Christmas day. What exactly? I don’t want to talk about it…probably never. But that’s beside the point I spent too much time rambling and not talking about what’s going on and here it goes.
Since the death of my Goddaughter, if I can still call her that, I have been seeking counseling for grieving. But soon I have been going for my depression and anxiety. Something I suffered from since I was nineteen years old. And it’s not fun, not one bit. It started with paranoia all the way up to how I’m feeling now. Empty, worthless, losing interest in everything. The only thing that keeps me going right now is this blog. Hoping that one day someone anyone will like it enough to keep coming back.
So, I thought I’ll do a few things to help myself (if possible) as well as others. The first thing I’m going to do starting on January 13, 2019. I’m starting a series called Mental Monday. Why? Well, everyone and I mean everyone hates Monday. It’s the one day where everyone loses their minds because they must go to work. Everybody is looking for something to keep them pushing. Especially those that battle to get out of bed today, like me.
Second, I’m going to start another series called Writer’s Wednesday (Pretty sure this is common), and what it’ll mostly be about is interviews, critiques, and subject on writing. I mean this did start off as writer’s blog and I like to continue that in some way. But I want to use it to help others with Mental illness as well. Including yours truly. I figure I invite other writers who are dealing with it or knows someone that is dealing with it and provides HELPFUL ADVICE. Now for the interviews, the authors don’t have to participate in the question if they don’t want to. I don’t want to force anyone to do something they don’t feel comfortable with. But right now, this is the only way I can see helping people.
But that’s it for this post. I would like to thank everyone who has supported me again. Even though I said it in my last post. I can’t thank you guys enough. I have managed to keep going, because of you. I also want to thank you all for reading this series and learning a little bit about me. But now is the time I face this fight head-on. Rather on my own or with people. I’m tired of feeling like this every day, and I want to overcome it. Have a Happy New Year and continuous holidays.
Until next time.