Hey, welcome back to Mental Monday where today will be talking about rejection. I know what you’re thinking. “Everybody who’s been rejected went through depression.” Yeah true, very true, but how about the people who are dealing with depression every day of their lives? See, people think that rejection is a simple thing to get over, but with someone with depression, it’s not so simple. That person’s mind is spinning out of control with so many negative thoughts and with those negative thoughts come negative actions.
As we all know this week the one holiday that I hate the most, Valentine’s day is going to be here and let’s face it. If you’re like me and/or reading this, you don’t have a Valentine this year. For me, this would be like…you know what we’re not going to go there right now. Let’s stay on the topic at hand. What to do and not to do during rejections.
What to Do?
Look, I get it, I really do. Rejection is like an arrow going through heart, but instead of you falling in love. You’re bleeding out your emotions all over your pillow. Wondering why that boy or that girl turned you down. Especially when you thought you had a chance. You sat there and asked yourself what made you stick out from the rest of them. Only to get shot down and lose to someone that you think was less worthy than you for that person’s love.
Clearly, you were wrong. Clearly, you made a miscalculation. However, the best thing you should do is let out all your anger and frustrations out. Just let out all the pain. If you want to cry for hours let the tears flow. If you want to listen to sad music for a while go ahead. Maybe a sad movie might help. Just make sure you release the pain your feeling in a positive way.
Next, you should try and talk to the person that rejected to see what they say. Getting answers/closure is a great way to start healing from the ordeal. As well as learn a few things about yourself. Some people do reject you for good reasons, while others not so much. But we’ll talk about that in a minute.
After that, you should try to see if anything you learn about the rejection can be changed. Try to improve on any flaws that you think can use some sprucing up. Remember though you’re only human and you will always have flaws. So, for everything that is holy, don’t try to make yourself a perfect person. It won’t work.
Finally, you should just be yourself for a while. Forgive the person that rejected you and tell him/her thank you for the lesson. Or don’t, it doesn’t really matter at this point. Just know that stopping and thinking about yourself for a minute can help you heal and let you move on with life.
What Not to Do?
Do not under any circumstances drag this person through the mud. Whether that’s literally or figuratively just don’t do it. Why? Well, we don’t what everyone thinking you’re crazy and that’s why you got rejected. Or people believing that you’re childish because you can’t handle it. Acting out in a negative way like that does not help you at all, and it’s best to follow the do’s above.
Don’t punch a wall. I met people who got so upset that they started punching a wall…a brick wall. You can imagine the damage they done to their hands by doing so. So, if you want to punch something. Please, invest in a punching bag, just look one up on Amazon or Walmart. Just don’t punch a wall.
Don’t start cutting up pictures of them. I never saw the point of that, and it only makes you think of violent thoughts towards said person. So, no cutting up pictures. Just throw them away or bury them in your closet. That doesn’t mean to stash that said person in your closet either.
Don’t blame yourself for your shortcomings. I know that I mention earlier that you should work on your flaws. That’s just some bs. If your flaws don’t really have a negative effect on the person that rejected, you. Then you’re fine and they just don’t see the special person you could’ve been in their life. So, try your best not to blame yourself, you’ll make it worse on you.
People who are dealing with depression handle rejection differently. Some may deal with it for one day and be okay the next day. Some deal with it in weeks, maybe months at a time. The bottom line is people with depression deal with rejection and heartaches more than someone that isn’t depressed. Therefore, we deal with it differently. To the person that’s reading this and wondering how to handle rejection. It doesn’t matter how long you take. Whether that’s a day, weeks, or even a month. If you just take my advice on the dos. It’ll help you on the path to healing and moving on in life, and maybe one day that special person will come in your life. Right now, all I want you to do is fight and live.