Unapologetically Misunderstood: Tired of Step 1

Do you remember the time when I was in my early twenties and I spoke out against racism? Or that time when I was in high school and I refused to stand up for the flag because I believed that George W. Bush was a racist. Or that time…You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? I was nobody then like I’m a nobody now. I used to be the one speaking out. Trying to educate people about how blacks were treated in this country. Nothing happened at all, except being told to shut up and sit down somewhere.

Now before you think it was white people. Let me stop you there and tell you that these people were minorities, people of color, or whatever it is they’re using today. Didn’t want to hear me talk about something that they claim no longer exists. That racism was defeated, and it was never coming back. As you read in my last entry that wasn’t true, and now many people are starting to see what I’ve been talking about for years.

Staying on topic, at one point in my life, twenty-five to be exact, I grew tired of talking about racism. I got exhausted trying to open people’s eyes to what was going on. Even with the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, and Mike Brown along with countless others. I stood silent because no one was going to listen to what I had to say. I believe if that we would’ve paid more attention there was a possibility of saving more of our people. Yet I remained quiet, fearing…no, knowing that my words would go unheard of. That was until Black Lives Matter showed up and started step 1. The protesting, the shouting, the call-out to political leaders on both sides to do something about it. It was something grand to witness for a time being.

However, I on the other hand was tired of step 1. I still am honestly, so I sat back, and I watched to see what would happen next. Time and time again more of us killed by the hands of law enforcement, and again Black Lives Matter protesting. Again, I was tired of step 1, because I was ready for step 2. I was ready for a group of black people to come together and come up with solutions and ideas. I got that, but not many took them seriously. It honestly gave me one migraine after the other, but then soon some other people came and spewed out things that weren’t going to work. Not surprised they’re support grew and they got rich from the suffering of their people.

So, again. When I’m asked why I don’t protest or speak out against racism. I did and I was silenced by those that look like me. Now I see so many people speaking up after all the tragedies we had to witness. However, I fear that nothing won’t change. That’ll we’ll always remain at step 1 of the process and get a few things here and there if we beg them enough. But only a few, including myself, will remain at step 2 waiting on everyone else.

We’ll at least that was the plan. We’re not going to sit here and wait for the fire to happen or more of us get taken away from this world.  It’s time we rebuild ourselves and our communities and invest time and money into it all. Have the people come to us, let us be the source of our culture. No one else shouldn’t be making money off the stuff we created. The chances of anyone getting reparations is slim and this is our best chance.

I know it might sound like I’m being ungrateful about the whole situation. I’m not, I’m glad people are talking about racism in this country more often than they did in the past. However, I learn from my lessons before putting my faith in humanity. I fear that step 1 will be achieved and the rest of it relies on us. Like I said time and again. I’m tired of step 1, I’ll be waiting for you to start step 2.

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